Long Time No Post

At one point I was writing several blog posts each week. Then I went down to one. Now I am having trouble coming up with just that. I have always used this blog to turn my frustrations into humor. It helps me not take everything so seriously. The problem right now is that I am struggling to find the humor. No matter how hard I try, I cannot turn difficult days into laughs. 

I know that I have a great life. I am privileged and spoiled. I honestly believe that no matter how fortunate your situation, everyone falls into what I call "the funk." For me, my life's emotions are somewhat of a cycle. There is contentment with occasional bursts of extreme happiness. Then the irritations become a little harder to deal with and the sublime moments are fewer. Then comes the just make it thru the day period and then...the funk.  I have always been able to slap myself out of the funk after a period of time, sometimes with the help of others and sometimes by my own realization that life is not always champagne and roses and that I need to make the best out of things. 

I have been trying to dig my way out of this funk for longer than usual. The thing that keeps pulling me down is...well...my children. My fuse is getting shorter and shorter with them and I feel like their behavior continues to get worse. And since I am in the funk I don't have the determination to straighten them out. Instead I want them to just leave me alone and figure out how to be civilized humans on their own. 

I know this is ridiculous and unrealistic. But it is how I feel. My prayers right now are almost always "God, please show me how to be the mother that these boys need. Give me patience, kindness, steadfastness. Help me control my temper and help me find an outlet for my frustration. Help me get out of the funk."

I don't expect to be happy all the time. I don't think anyone's life is like that. I want for my contenent phases to be longer and to have more bursts of bliss. I want the rest of my emotional cycle to be shorter and I want to deal with it in a more constructive way. 

I hope I start finding the humor again soon.