- Get up and feed the kids breakfast.
-dress myself in workout clothes, put up my hair and brush my teeth ...beauty routine
- Hassle oldest child to hurry up and eat because we need to leave while I throw all of his mess into his backpack
-flop down on my bed for a few moments of fake sleep while said child finishes breakfast.
-Ask oldest child to put on shoes and listen to the next five minute rant about why he doesn't like his tennis shoes and why does he always have to go to school and when can he make all the rules.
-drive to school to drop off child, deliver potato salad for the teachers luncheon and put our stuffed bunny into the donation box for sick children while oldest son complains that it is not fair that he didn't get a stuffed animal.
- drive home and again plop face down in an attempt to fake a few more moments of sleep.
- chase, catch and then wrestle youngest child to the floor to dress and put on shoes.
- spend five minutes negotiating with and bribing child to get in the car
- drive to school and drop off lunatic #2
- drive to gym and try to cram an hour long workout into 30 minutes
- leave gym and head to grocery store where I proceed to speed shop for a weeks worth of food.
- drive home, unload groceries, put groceries away, put in a load of laundry and move the load from yesterday to the pile on the floor.
-clean up breakfast mess
- get meat for dinner out to thaw and chop vegetables needed for the recipe
- turn on shower but then sit down naked on the vanity bench and check Facebook
- shower, get dressed and put on some makeup
- grab random baggies of leftover from the refrigerator, shove them in your mouth and call it lunch.
- drive to cvs to pick up prescriptions
-argue with the pharmacist about the $4 i should actually be paying vs the $50 they are charging
- wait 10 minutes while she checks with the head pharmacist. Pay $4 and leave
- drive to pickup littlest man and call girlfriend in the car. Complain about errands and annoying children then talk about the perfect house/body/children/wardrobe we want.
- pick up youngest and take him home
- talk about his day, the good the bad and the ugly. Play dinosaurs.
-Move the wet laundry to the dryer.
- spend 5-7 minutes letting child decide what he wants for a snack in the car. Finally get frustrated and pick up a package of goldfish. Child starts screaming in protest while you drag him by one arm to the car.
-drive to oldest sons school and park in the insanely long pick up line.
- pick up son and listen to the proceeding explanation of what went wrong, what went really wrong and can he have a lollipop
-get home and carry 523 pounds worth of kid equipment into the house while they scratch at my legs and beg for snack.
- serve snack but immediately start the time warnings that we have to leave for soccer in 10 minutes.
- spend next 15 minutes putting the godforsaken soccer gear on the big child.
- load soccer gear, snack, iPads and water into car.
- scream at children that they will get a spanking if they don't get in the car right now!
- drive to soccer while trying to block out the whines about how mean I am.
- play iPad games with the little while the big attempts to play soccer for 55 minutes
- load crew and equipment back into car. Then begins the complaints about what gross things I am probably making for dinner and why can't we go out to eat
- arrive home and plop children in front of the electronic babysitting box
- cook dinner and set table while attempting to time it right so it we be hot when husband arrives home
- husband and I eat dinner while our children whine and complain about the disgusting meal I cooked. On some extra special nights vomiting on the table is included.
- send husband and children upstairs to play
- clean the kitchen and wash the dishes for the next hour in relative silence with the males upstairs. Walk around the house and try to clean up any messes that involve bodily fluids or may attract ants.
- hide in my room if I finish early
- baths, reading, brushing, praying and then it's whack a mole bed time.
-when they are finally asleep I have zero motivation left to do anything...oh but there is more
- spend the next 30-60 minutes working on our home business paperwork
- wash my face and lay on the couch with my hub feeling so tired and ready for sleep.
- body refuses to sleep so I write
...morning again...
So how does it sound people? Yeah, I guess I AM a big lazyass!
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