The Parenting Elite?????

I read an article this morning that really got me thinking. I can't remember the title exactly but it was something like, “When the elite parents dominate the school volunteers then everyone loses.” It was a editorial style/blog piece that pointed out how the “elite” parents tend to take over school events, blow things out of proportion and make everything too fancy. One example the writer cited was an instance where she suggested pizza for a school party and another mother suggested sushi. I understand where she is coming from. I see things like this happen in the school my oldest son attends. Last years Christmas party (excuse me HOLIDAY party...help us all if there is a mention of religion in public school) for the Kindergarten classes included a visit from Santa and a real, live reindeer. Our schools fundraising auction sells luxury items and vacations. There is even a rumor that several years ago a teacher received a Louis Vuitton handbag as a gift from one of her students. I understand that things can get out of control and the excess can make parents with less time and money to spare uncomfortable and even angry. It really got me thinking about my own activity at school.

One of the main reasons I stay at home is so that I can be involved in my childrens school lives. For me this means, volunteering, attending school trips and getting to know the teachers and staff at the school. I understand that not every parent has the luxury of this. It is never my intention to make anyone feel angry or guilty if they don't have the time or desire to volunteer at school. I truly believe that ANY parent involvement is good for the kiddos. The concept of “elite” parents is kind of irritating to me. I volunteer a decent bit and by no means consider myself “elite.” I am just a mom who is willing and able to help where I can at school. It seems to me that at ANY school in the country, the parents who are willing and able to volunteer do just that. Some are willing but not able and some are able but not willing.  You work full time but wish you could work the drink station at field day = willing but not able.  You are a stay at home mom but prefer to spend your hours away from your children playing tennis and cooking = able but not willing.

The comments posted under this article brought up  another hotly debated topic along the same lines...gifting. Let me start by saying that there is not enough money in the world for me to teach 22 of my son all day, every day for nine months. I would completely lose my mind. I know what my child can be like. In my book, his teachers are angels. I am eager to thank them in any way that I can. Sometimes that means baking them their favorite treat or bringing them a coffee. Other times it is writing them a note telling them how much I appreciate them and their patience with my son. At Christmas and the end of the year, it also means gifts. I know not everyone agrees with this, but for me it is my way of thanking them and showing my appreciation. It doesn't matter if they were an amazing teacher or just average, they will be receiving a gift from our family. Ok, ok...perhaps the amazing ones might get a better gift! If Louis Vuitton giving mom wants to thank her child's teacher that way, I say more power to her. There have been several teachers in my sons' years that have been so loving and patient that I would have loved to give a car if we could afford it!!

There are supposedly five love languages. I feel special and appreciated when someone does something nice for me or gives me a gift, so this is how I tend to express my love and appreciation too. Perhaps it is shallow, but for now I will continue to show up to open juice boxes at lunch, set up tasty and maybe a bit ridiculous treat tables for the school staff and yes...give my sons teachers gifts. You do you and I'll do me.  Whatever floats your boat people.