Buy Her A Box of Raisins

My dear friend sent me a text this morning describing the dramatic if not slightly suggestive rendition of Taylor Swift's “Never Ever Getting Back Together,” that her not quite two year old daughter gave this morning. It made me laugh hard and reminded me of something funny that happened when Connor was about the same age. My friend has three wonderfully sweet children but this last one...she is a firecracker.

When Connor was about a year old his, shall we say, personality started to really come out. We were in Mississippi visiting Chris's family and he had a particularly messy fit in front of Chris's aunt. “Oh, Chris!! You should buy him some raisins,” she said. Or at least that is what I heard. Hmm. That one was confusing to me but in my still newish mom stupor I forgot about it and moved on. You see, ever since I met Chris I have been schooled on all kinds of new southern sayings and colloquialisms that I have never been exposed to so I assumed his aunt telling him to buy Connor some raisins was one of those. Mississippi people have a whole list of these sayings. One of them comes out of someones mouth, everyone in the room laughs and I just look around confused. I never ask what it means. I don't want to look stupid and I usually pick up on it at some point.

I try not to get drunker than Cooter Brown. When someone asks me how much I like something I tell them how much I have left until I am finished. And I certainly don't want my children to be spolt. If you are confused about any of this, ask someone from Mississippi. :)

Anyway, a few months later Connor pulled another doozie in front of Chris's family and his mother said, “Ooooooh Chris, this one will pay for his raisins.” Hmmm....there is that one again. What on earth does that mean?!?!? I racked my brain. Are they saying he likes to eat? Do they think he will grow up to be bad with money and pay too much for things that should be cheap? Is there some magical behavior managing properties in raisins that I don't know about? I could not figure it out but again I chalked it up to a Mississippism that I just didn't understand.

When Connor was two years old we had the Bass family at our house around Christmas time. Naturally, Connor was on his worst behavior and started throwing a fit about a toy that was not doing what he wanted it to. Again my mother-in-law, “Oooooh honey. This boy is going to make you pay for your raisin!” OK! What the hell does that mean?!?!?!

That night, alone in our room, I finally broke down and asked Chris. “Why does everyone in your family keep saying that Connor will buy raisins?!” Chris looked at me like I had a tree limb growing out of my head. “What are you talking about?” I relayed the instances to him and he chuckled. “Pay for your raising. They are saying that I will pay for my raising. Like, Connor is my payback child for all the trouble I caused my parents.” Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh. Well yes. That makes total sense!!

So dear friend of mine – that third child of yours – you better buy her a box of raisins!!!!