The Biggest Danger On Our Roads

You have all seen it.  The suburban in front of you is cruising down the highway at 75 mph when all of the sudden it swerves to the right and you brace yourself for the piece of debris they are trying to avoid to come flying at your windshield.  Seconds pass. No flying tires. There was no road hazard. It is just a mom who had to turn around for a brief second to see if the blood curdling screams coming from the back seat was her toddler being murdered or if he just dropped his snippy cup.  Those family stickers with the stair step stick figure drawings are actually warning labels. They secretly read, "stay back 50 feet. I am driving with toddlers."

I'm guilty of it. I have to admit. Driving with small children in your car should really require some kind of special certification or training class.  It is quite difficult to navigate the roads when toys are being lobbed at you and someone is kicking you in the side of the head.  Oh and the yelling and demands...

"Mommy, turn up the volume!"

"Mommy, my cuuuuuuuupppppppp!"

"Mommy, he's trying to bite me!"

"Mommy, he bit me!"

"Mommy, I'm taking off my shoes."

"Mommy, I need to go teetee right now!"

"Mommy, I see McDonalds can we go there please please please!?!?"

It is a miracle that I don't crash my car everyday.  Driving with toddlers brings multitasking to a whole new level.  Who else besides a mom can drive with her knees, eat a sandwich, blindly find a water bottle on the floor board behind her and keep the two small humans in the backseat from maiming each other?  Am I right?