Old Sucks

So I had a birthday last week. Ho hum. Aging is for the birds. I just finished getting ready for bed and slathered on myriad creams and goop to try to prevent the inevitable. WHY does this happen?! If I am already this saggy and wrinkled what am I going to look like at 50?! Eye wrinkles, sun spots, double chin, boobs that point to the ground, saggy eye lids, and my least favorite: the extra stomach. Until about a year ago I didn't know what the extra stomach was. Here is my best description. No matter how hard you suck in that flap on your lower abs just hangs there. You know, that portion of your stomach with the stretch marks between your hip bones and below your belly button. So gross. Why can we not get better looking with age? I sure wish someone had told me that when I was 16 and complaining about being "fat" that I was the best I was ever going to look so I better just shut up and enjoy it!