Do you have any kids vato? Yeah, didn't think so

Be forewarned: do not read this if you are sensitive to displays of anger, rude comments, bad language or derrogatory names. We just got back from Florida and I had an encounter with a less than kind TSA agent.

SO, let me preface this by saying that I do not travel well. I never have. Even before Connor was in the picture, I have always been a pretty big bitch when driving or flying long distances. My poor husband...

After a long weekend visiting Chris's brother and parents in Orlando we began our long trip back yesterday afternoon. Of course I was already a little on edge from being out of town, the check in lines were long, we had a ton of crap to haul (two suitcases, two backpacks, a bag of toys, a carseat, a stroller and a two year old) and the security line was long and hectic. I know, I know, this is to be expected in the Orlando airport with all the families leaving Disney World. I have never had a problem before bring babyfood, milk and juice for Connor. I just tell the person scanning bags that I am carrying these things for my child. Fabullous Orlando International Airport decided to ruin my streak.

The first smartass 20-year-old Hispanic TSA "agent" (I use this word loosely because I don't actually respect that these morons have any authority whatsoever) grabs my bag and tells me he has to search it and I need to follow him to the examination area. Fine jackass, but first I have to collect my purse, toy bag, stroller, baggie of less than 3 oz items, shoes, child's shoes and then I can proceed to your very official examination cubby. Chris was detained to prove that his laptop wasnt an explosive device so I was on my own. Apparently Jackass #1 was annoyed that he had to wait so long for me to step into his office.

He pulled everything out of my bag, groups my unapproved items together, points and them and says, "what is this?" Um, that is the baby food and milk that I already told you was in my backpack genius.
"Maam, you are not allowed to carry liquids over 3 oz into the airport."
"Yes, but I was under the impression that there was an expemtion for baby food and milk." "How old is that kid?"
"He is two."
"So is he an infant?"
"I just said he is two-years old."
"Ma'am it is a courtesy if I let you bring ANY of this thru. Which items do you need?"
"All of them. That is why I am bringing them into the airport."
"Where are you going?"
"Dallas"
"How long is that flight?:
"Two and a half hours."
"Miss, there is no way that kid can consume this much in a two hour flight." Keep in mind I had three squeeze packs of baby food, one bottle of juice and two milk boxes. About this time Chris walked up and asked what the problem was. Jackass #1 gave Chris his version of the recap and Jackass #2 walks up with another juice box that Chris had in his bag. Jackass #2 "They had this one too. There is no way that kid is going to drink all that on one flight"

Sidebar, who the hell are you two turds to say how much my son is or is not going to eat and drink on a flight. First off, it is dinner time. Second, food and drink is used as a distraction. Third, he has to have something to drink to keep his ears from popping. Fourth, I hate you and want to initiate my pregnant gag reflex and barf all over your greasy face.

Jackass #1:
"I can't let you take this."
"Do you have any children?"
"It is a courtesy for me to let you take ANYTHING!"
"I said, do you have any children?!" (my attitude is beyond rude at this point)
"No I don't have any children."
"I didn't think so. You have no idea how much crap it takes to entertain a child on a two and a half hour flight!"

Jackass #1 pulls out a juice box and two baby food packs and throws the rest in the trash. He scans or pretends to scan them with an explosive detecting stick. He put them back in my backpack and says, "Have a nice flight." I grabbed bag, stormed off and called him fucker as I walked away. Very mature, I know.

For some reason this whole episode really, really made me mad. My blood pressure was off the chart and as soon as I stepped on the tram I burst into tears. If he can't have a little sympathy for a pregnant chick with a two year old then he must not feel anything.

Just because you are bitter because you are not smart enough to be a real police officer or even a mall cop and had to settle for a job as a TSA "agent" does not give you the right to be such a bitch ass! And since all of your children live with their respective mothers or are in state custody don't pretend like you know how much food a child will eat at any given time or how they will act on a plane.

Well I feel better. Watch out Jackass #1 and #2...next time that baby food will become hair gel for you!