Chris bought tickets to The Nutcracker for Connor to give me and take me on a date. We went to lunch, out for frozen yogurt and then to the ballet. I decided this was a great opportunity to start teaching Connor about appropriate behavior on a date and how to treat a lady. He was so cute. He opened my doors, pulled out my chairs and even handed the waiter a credit card...MY credit card, but still.
As our day progressed I took mental notes on other things to teach him about going on a date.
1. When you open the door for your date, do not cut off the old woman behind her and slam the door in her face.
2. Do not ask your date to cut your chicken.
3. Don't talk about your girlfriend.
4. Don't dance around like a rabid monkey if you get a brain freeze.
5. Keep your hands out of your pants.
6. Do not lay on the floor during a ballet performance.
7. Don't sit in your dates lap so you can see better and if you do sit in her lap do not keep trying to stick her fingers up your nose.
8. Assume that the stairs are safe. Stopping at the top of every set to "check" them does not increase your coolness level.
9. Compliment her outfit even if you "like it better" when she wears a dress.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
10. Never, under any circumstances, ask your date to wipe you after you poop.
It's a good thing this kiddo has about 500 years left before he is allowed to date!
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